Yes, you absolutely evoked memories with your description of how they view it as "impossible" to shuck the sandwich in public, leave those crusts and wasting all that "food," much less NOT EAT if that's actually a better option. I still do all that, because if I leave the house I have to.

I once ate two hot dogs without the bun at a cookout because literally everything else was pasta salad (five kinds, I think) and desserts. But I had mustard and pickles and joked that it was a three course meal. I was happy and satisfied.

But, as one could logically assume from all the hot and cold running carbs, there were many people there who found my cheerful presence upsetting.

I was like a big finger pointing at everyone there who didn't like the weight they were at. That's the really horrible part. At corporate lunches it was far more tolerated than this family gathering someone was kind enough to invite me to. And I tell the truth: I can eat there, and I did.

But HOW I ate... that was a big mirror in harsh light and I understood. It wasn't that they were anything but polite. But I could tell I was disconcerting.

Fortunately, it wasn't my family. But what if it was? Would they let me eat my hot dogs and have a good time? Are we resented for disturbing the surface of how everyone eats? We are changing the streambed of important and celebratory events, even though they don't have to change a thing. But they have feelings we are disturbing.

When I sit down on Thanksgiving with turkey and cheese salad on my plate, it probably looks like a rebuke to anyone still in denial. Not even trying, and I'm the "ghost at the feast."

Because we're a threat to their way of life. We're so used to hiding people's addictions, which is why an honest and controlled environment is a great way to begin recovery.

We can't rehab carb addicts like that. Carb addiction doesn't make us hold up convenience stores or rob our relatives. Keep jobs, use apps, then delivery.

People have it just the way they like it, except for the weight, and now there's something for that one little problem. They just don't know the real consequences because they are trying to be "more normal" and I understand it doesn't seem fair.